No matter how serious your life is
no matter how serious you are towards your life,
we all need a goofy friend who shares our secrets.
Forgotten Hollow Vatore Castle
Peeking around one of the many corners into another one of the many halls, rooms, nooks and crannies of the old castle, Blaine finally spotted him in front of one of the many fireplaces at Vatore Castle, just standing there like a statue, staring into the crackling flames. Caelan must have sensed Blaine’s arrival, his face became an unwilling grimace before he spoke.
“What do you want from me?” he snapped without ever turning around.
“Nothing really. Just saying hi. You okay man? Need anything?”
“If I did, it would most definitely not be anything from you! Leave me alone.”
“No, can’t do. Wife and daughter set me on your trail for a heart-to-heart by daddy Blaine, so THIS is happening. I never disappoint my girls. And I am good at helping people sort out complicated shit. Ask anyone. Including Vivien.”
“Fuck off, Cameron! Bother someone else. Not in the mood.”
“How do they say ‘no’ in moron? Well, THAT. I am staying. We’re talking. Cos wifey and Vivien asked me to. I can get you one of Cait’s pacifiers if you would like help with your pouting.”
With a grunt dissipating into a black cloud Caelan was gone.
“Ah great. Fucker wants to play hide and seek with me now. Urgh. The things I do for love.” Blaine growled, before only a cloud was left in his wake too.
Moments later he appeared before Caelan again, this time in a different room.
“You gotta be kidding me!” protested Caelan, his face a vision of disbelief.
“Surpriiiiiiiiise! Guess what I finally mastered? Oh yeah, Blaine can do the poof-black-cloud thing now too. Are you as proud as Scarlett is? I am! Oh, and we can do this chase all day long, buddy.” Blaine grinned triumphantly.
A resigned groan escaped Caelan.
“So fine, talk, Cameron. Let’s get it over with. Get it out of your system, so I can have my peace again.”
“That’s my bestie right there. Makes me wanna pinch your cheeks, little Caelan, mah boy. Oh, I remember a time when you barely came up to my shoulders, just a pimple faced pre-teen.”
“Don’t push it!”
“Oh, but if I do, I push it REAL good. Ask your sister.” Blaine deliberately poured oil into the fire.
“Do you want to die or something?!” Caelan growled, causing a devious smile on Blaine’s face, knowing his instigating had worked.
“Again? Nah, I am good. Speaking of dying, how are you holding up?”
“How do you think?!”
“Right. Sorry, man, that was insensitive. I am sorry.”
“What? Did you really just apologize to me? Are you schizophrenic now or have you been staring into that Del Sol Valley sun too long and fried that lonely brain cell of yours?!”
“Yes, I apologized, nope, I am not schizo, just ask my alter egos and they all will confirm, and no, I didn’t stare into anything, plus that lonely brain cell made up with his millions of friends and is no longer lonely, thanks for asking. Look, I can admit when I was wrong. Doesn’t happen very often, but it does, and I am man enough to own that this was wrong. The death of a loved one should never make fodder for jokes.”
“Wish my sister could admit she was wrong in marrying you and reproducing with you. At least have no more kids with you, if she won’t leave you.”
“Yeah, let it all out, all that bottled up anger and frustrations, if it helps ya.”
Caelan sighed annoyed, shook his head, closed his eyes, and when he opened them again said.
“Fine. How do you imagine this now? I pour all my sorrows out to you, you pat me on the shoulder telling me some encouraging BS while we both are trying not to puke, then we go our merry ways? Will that get you out of my hair? Then, by all means, let’s! And make it quick, I am convulsing internally.”
“Look who finally learned applied sarcasm! They are so adorable when they grow up. Joking aside now, look Caelan. I think you are a stupid, moronic motherfucker, it hurts my soul to know you are related to my wife and children and I know the feeling is mutual, but we are related, for better or worse. Neither one of us is going anywhere. As much as I DON’T like you and love few things more than watch your squirm uncomfortably, I do not want you to be in the kind of agony you are in right now. I KNOW that sort of pain very well. I have lost before and I will lose again, my parents, whom I love incredibly much, are getting up there in age and it is only a matter of time now. I lost Bristol, she may have been my ex-wife, but she was a good person, we still cared about each other and she was the mother of my child. Well, two children counting the non-blood-related foster-kid, but that’s more convoluted Cameron-business. I even lost your sister before in a way, she may not have died, but it hurt all the same and I will never forget that pain. I get it, man, better than you may think. But I am here as the example that there is light at the end of that deep, dark, lonely tunnel. It all looks bleak now, but will get better. Eventually.”
“Great speech, Blaine, except the oversight where I NEVER end up on the bright side of life. I am just not the happily-ever-after-type. Think about it. Allie. Seraphina. Ingrid. I could never make Allie love me enough to forget that Witcher, Seraphina didn’t love me enough to stand up to her mother until some years ago and Ingrid … she probably only ever liked me because I was a cliché, different than the rest, the tall, handsome bad boy. When push came to shove, she hated me for turning her even though she seemed to be going along with it. Not much else she could do anyway.”
“Well, the ‘handsome‘ part is debatable you ugly fuck, joking aside though … she may not have been happy you turned her, but from what I heard, she chose you after all. So you must have been doing something right. Probably her. Long and with great enthusiasm.” Blaine smirked, but Caelan only acquitted his sexual innuendo with a grimace, otherwise ignoring it.
“She chose me? CHOSE me?! Was hardly a choice at this point, you pretty princess! I took that choice from her. That mistake is on me. She merely succumbed to her fate, made the best of it. At least until the poison …”
“Yeah, about that. Are you sure she did that herself? I mean, I only met her a few times, briefly, but she was what, twenty something and a little on the ditsy side. I can tell you right now, none of my kids around that age, not Vivien, not Blake – let alone Celeste – could poison themselves with anything they’d manage to find outside, not even if their life depended on it. Ha ha ha, get it? I seriously am hilarious without even trying to be.”
“I don’t find this a laughing matter, Blaine, but I get your drift. Fine, so Ingrid researched. What’s your point now? Mine would be, where there is a will, there is always a way. If you want something bad enough, you find a way. Can’t be that hard for a mortal to die, if they put their mind to it.”
“Okay, you want my point? Here is my point. I was going to feel you out more and lead up to it nice and easy, but you don’t wanna play nice, so here goes: I got along fine with my ex, but I wouldn’t have trusted her with a roll of toilet paper in a time of need if it had concerned Scarlett. Exes rarely have the best interest of the one who replaced them in mind, especially if the replacing wasn’t really a mutual decision. If you chose to replace them, the new lady on your side better watch their back.”
“What are you implying?”
“I am not implying shit, Caelan, I am straight out telling you to take an extra-cautious long hard look at that Seraphina. She is your ex and she is also a Witch, isn’t she? I know little about Witches, I always thought that was all bullshit to scare little kids and Simpletons with, defying all scientific evidence, rhyme or reason, but once upon a time I thought that about Vampires too and ended up eating major crow about that. What I do know about Witches though is the pretty universal general consensus that they are not known to be some patient motherfuckers, and they like to stir around in big cauldrons with dubious contents. If you count two and two together here while adding a pinch of scorned ex, who was practically left watching you plan a wedding to some hot young chick while she is getting older by the minute as she’s stuck raising your kid, you get your poison-pusher that actually makes a shit-ton of sense to me. Just ask Snow White. Who knows, maybe that bitch is real too.”
“Snow White. The one with the poisoned apple, courtesy of her jealous step-mother, who hung out with a bunch of dwarves.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?! I am not talking to you about children’s stories! How did Seraphina get pulled into this mess now?! Wait – you think … No. Right? She would never. Right?! Or maybe it’s not as dumb as it sounds. But how …? Ingrid was alone when I found her. She and Seraphina never even met.”
“You think a murderous Witch would sit around some big vampire kahuna’s castle next to the victim after her deed, maybe a homemade sign decorated with your daughter’s macaroni-art around her neck with a handwritten confession on it? Come on now, bruh! And yeah, I think Seraphina’s up to her chin in this! She knows her way in and out of this place, your dogs know her. And if anyone had a motive … Caelan, no matter how much you love that suicide theory, I am not buying it, I have my finger on the pulse of time a lot more than you guys, and I am telling you, the twenty-something generation wouldn’t go pick cute little flowers outside to brew up some shit to drink with their wine. Did Ingrid even like red wine!? Just asking cos my lil 20+ shitheads back home wouldn’t sit there with the pinky out clenching some deep red Bordeaux if they wanted to get wasted. They drink modern shit, not the same as your 500+ year old father sips to chill by the fire over a good book written when dinosaurs still roamed. Come on now, man! Think!”
Caelan just stared at Blaine, ignoring his attempt to make sort of light of a very tough topic while still delivering a lot of truth. Instead, it was obvious that Blaine’s words had fallen on fruitful ground and were sprouting millions of little ‘what ifs’ in Caelan’s mind.
“You are right. It makes perfect sense. Seraphina. Has to be. Of course …”
“Whoa whoa whoa. NOPERS! We are guessing here, my friend, remember? You need to be sure before you do anything, and that should be talk to your father, not go on a killing spree judging by the crazy glare in your eyeballs, especially not the mother of your child. REMEMBER the little girl and how it would scar her if daddy killed mommy? Yeah, we’re not doing that.”
“Leeora. But I cannot leave her with a murderous Witch as a mother to raise her. Then again, her father hunts and kills vampires for a living. Jesus Christ, my poor kid, her parents even sound surreal and borderline ridiculous.”
“Glad I didn’t need to point that out to ya. Yeah, if I am right, we are currently living a children’s book here, where the mean evil step-mother kills the beautiful young bride.”
“Seraphina isn’t anyone’s step-mother! But she IS going to answer some uncomfortable questions for me!” Caelan grumbled angrily through gritted teeth, before he turned and headed for the door.
“Hey, wait up! Where you think you are going?! Don’t you do that black cloud thing on me without telling me where to first! I am so not leaving your side here! You need adult supervision and I am the adult here!” Blaine hurried after him.
“Glimmerbrook, of course, you fool!” Caelan growled before he disappeared.
“Why is this happening and why am I in one of the lead roles of this fucked up gig?!” growled Blaine as he followed suit.
To be continued ... Part 2/2 will be published tomorrow