“A breakup is like a broken mirror.
It is better to leave, then risk hurting yourself trying to pick up all of the broken pieces.”
Windenburg Isle Cameron Estate
Another fight, a very bad one this time, not their first, but probably their last, when after exchanging some very cruel words, Jordan found himself a frustrated single after Jenna broke up with him, then ghosted him afterwards, negating any of his attempts to remedy the situation, making him miserable, grumpy and angry almost all the time now.
At some point when the weekend rolled around, he decided to get on the internet for an online game, when an ad popped up.
“Goddamn ads all the time and weak-ass ad-blocker. Hmm … ‘SimDa Noir – noncommittal dating‘. Ha, nicely played there, internet bots. You know what a man needs, huh? Yah, but I am not gonna. I am not like that. Although …. why not? Jenna did say she never wanted to see me again. Stupid bitch, thinks her shit don’t stink. Blaming me, when clearly she had her panties in a bunch for weeks. Ah, fuck it, no harm in checking out an app. I mean, I am single now, right? Probably just some nasty gargoyles on something like that anyway. Might at least get a good laugh out of it.”
Jordan signed up and in, then started navigating through the profiles.
“Nope. Nope. Oh hell no – I am never gonna be THAT desperate! Nope. Nope. Yuck. That one doesn’t even look human … urgh. I knew it, just a bunch of humanity rejects. Ha, looky here, for the really desperate people with their crotches on fire they even offer a blind date one night stand function that does not even have profile pics. Oh, well, duh, blind date – literally. That’s probably where the total visual traffic accidents go. Yeah, that oughta be good. Ah, what the hell, let’s have some fun. Imma gonna do that! Let’s see what kinda shit they hook me up with, probably something you scare little kids with. At least it gets me out of the house.”
Within seconds he received an automated text with a date and location.
“Ha, let’s do this, let’s have some fun. Screw you, Jenna, and the bitchy horse you rode in on!”
Newcrest Adult Day Care Bar
Jordan arrived at the location, a bar just half a step up from a dive, rolled his eyes, then entered. No females present whatsoever.
“Oh, great. I got one of those that are either super-late or I got stood up. Or I got cat-fished and this shit turns into a sausage fest now. Nice. Can’t even manage myself a frigging one night stand with some desperate ugly chick. Great. Well, I am going to manage myself a probably lukewarm stale beer and then we’ll go from there.” he mumbled to himself.
While simmering over his break-up, tapping his fingers on the table, beer in front of him, pondering what he should do about it, someone arrived at his table.
“Sorry … are you … ahem ‘Dodo234’ by any chance?” a female voice asked and when Jordan looked up all he saw was bright hair.
“Am I what? Oh crap, right, yeah, that’s me.” Jordan remembered his new username.
“Ah, good. I was a bit scared by the selection of people in here. Yikes. What a dump. The only decent one other than you in here is the barkeeper, but that would make no sense. Had to be you.” the girl sat down at his table, Jordan looked her over. Fall sweater, colorful hair, brown pants, about his age, pretty. Not at all what he had expected.
“All location credits and complaints to you, you picked this joint.” Jordan was still chewing on the fact that the girl wasn’t ugly at all, wondering what else was wrong with her. No way a decent girl would sign up for such a thing.
“Well, I am new to the area. I just looked up a neutral sounding place online. Bar sounded about right for a hookup, the name was funny, so I went with this. Never been here before. You?”
“Nope. You are looking at my first and last time ever here. For your next time I suggest checking out Yelp reviews.”
“Duly noted. So, how are we going to do this?”
“The … ya know … hands on date part thing. I mean the one night stand part. Oh god, I just realized you could be a scary serial killer or some really whacky weirdo.”
“Seriously? Thanks, but at least you gave me great ideas for the next time I need a username and can’t think of anything good.” Jordan took another drink of his beer.
“Yeah, Dodo234 is probably not your best work. Is this your first time?”
“Says the girl who came up with “koolaid-inna-wineglass”. Not exactly worth standing ovations either. My first time what? At a bar? At a date? Having sex? Serial killing?”
“Well, the latter wouldn’t make much sense. If it were your first, it would just be murder, I mean, how could it be serial with just one, right? So you’d be at best a crazy murderer. But, is there another kind?”
“Good point. What about you? Done this blind date one night thing before?”
“Oh, yeah, I do this all the time. Why tie yourself down, right?”
“Yeah, right. So, lead the way I guess. Unless you decided I didn’t suit your needs.”
“How would I know by just looking at you?”
“Right. Well, do I at least make the cut visually or do we need to stop for a paper bag on the way to wherever you go screw?”
“Shhhh! Are you nuts!? People can hear you!”
“Sorry, I guess? I’d hate to offend the washed up drinking since 10 am crowd in here. Some of them may still be able to manage to stand up for a minute or two. Scary thought. So just lead the way then.”
He finished his beer, they left soon after. Jordan felt odd about all this. It seemed like a cool idea at home, and even sitting down at the bar, but following the girl outside now it had become real. Too real, maybe?
Don’t be such a pussy! Jordan reprimanded himself.
He walked her to her car, then followed her in his. After some time on the highway he rolled his eyes when she exited at Brindleton Bay, then snorted a laugh when they turned into a small parking lot nearby. When he got out of the car, she was waiting for him. It was Fall and had gotten dark around them now.
Brindleton Bay Outskirts, near the Bay
“Sorry, rest is on foot.” she shrugged.
“Is this gonna turn into a romantic walk, holding hands skipping along the beach? Is it too late to ask you if you are some lunatic with some crazy fetish? Or is salty sea air what gets you off?”
“Funny guy. This way.”
Jordan followed her, across the road, along the beach, he heard seagulls screeching, the waves crashing. This was NOT how he thought a one night stand via some naughty app would go. NOT. AT. ALL. This felt like a commercial for engagement rings or something cheesy like that.
They passed under a bridge, then she stopped at a small, quaint home, unlocked the door. Jordan entered, looking around.
“You gotta be kidding me. This is your home, isn’t it? You actually live here, dontcha?”
“Uh … maaaaybe? What if I did?”
“Oh girl, now it’s confirmed, you definitely haven’t done this before. You do not take random dudes you never met before to your home, especially not if you live alone and so remote! Either you grew up REALLY sheltered or you are the crazy serial killer out of the two of us. Are you?”
“Uh, crazy, probably. Case in point, you being here. Now that you said it, that was definitely not my best idea ever. Oh man, if mom knew about this. How do you know I live alone? Oh, and no on the serial killer. The only serial I kill is the one out of the box. Get it, cereal … serial …” she attempted a smile.
“Oh dear god, she cracks dad jokes. Yeah, you definitely aren’t the one night stand kind.”
“Well, are you then? Because honestly, you do not give off the vibes that you have done this a lot either.”
“Nah, you caught me. First timer here too. Still hopeful to change that, if you are still up for it.”
“Sure. Are you still … up … for it. Get it? ‘Up’ as in – you know – sexual.”
Jordan stared at her, then burst into laughter.
“Are you like a virgin or something? Girl, if you were trying for sexy talk, you need at least quit putting disclaimers and explanations with it, or for most dudes, their ‘up‘ turns into yo-yos, up, down, up, down, …”
“You try to land sexual innuendos like a dad joke and then explain them. Did you just leave the convent?!”
“Well, all I heard out of you tonight was you worrying whether or not I would kill you! Not exactly very manly.”
“Now you sound like my ex …”
“Ah, now it’s starting to make sense again. You are the frustrated-after-a-bitter-breakup type. You were recently dumped, and now you are looking for a girl to air your frustrations with in the bedroom. Now I get it.”
“Are you a shrink or something?”
“Not officially. Just a passion of mine. Music is too.”
“So, you’re a musician?”
“I am a gardener. Well, botanist, eventually. Working my way there.”
“A gardener!? Oh jeeze … you are all over the map.”
“So what do you do .. ahem Dodo234?”
“Well, nice to officially meet you, Jocelyn, the gardener.”
“Still haven’t told me what you do for a living.”
“Well, all this kinda defeats the idea of this being a blind no strings attached kinda date thing. Besides, not much to tell. Some boring office job, which my brother and I had plans to change by founding our own company, which is on hold indefinitely on account of him becoming a new dad soon. Dude has no cash or time right now. “
“Oh … I have condoms. Just in case.” she proclaimed with the pride of a little girl presenting a picture she has drawn.
“Yeah, you definitely aren’t the one night stand type. Why did you sign up with that app then? You are attractive, young, smart, you don’t look or sound like a shrinking violet … You just cannot be so desperate to need that app!”
“You signed up with it and you’re not exactly bottom shelf looking.”
“Thanks, but I am a guy. We’re always desperate. But a nice girl like you, it just can’t be so hard to find someone for whatever it is you want and need without the app.”
“Well, hasn’t been easy so far, I am always a dollar short and a minute too late. Everyone who’s cute is always taken. Like my neighbor, across the highway. Soooo cute. But, just got engaged. Dammit.”
“Yeah. You know him? OMG – please don’t tell me you live here in Brindleton Bay! I am seriously gonna die right here on the spot!”
“Nah, I am from Windenburg, born and raised. And yeah, I know Lucas, even worse, we’re kinda related.”
“Oh, you’re a McKenzie then?”
“No, I am a Cameron.”
“Ah. You say that like it means something. I am a Hyde, where I come from that means something. Big family and all.”
“Yeah, you are not from around here I could tell. And also yeah, the Cameron thing means something, to locals. Long story. Look, I think I better get going. It was very nice meeting you, Jocelyn. But you are not a girl for a hump and dump. You need to delete that profile ASAP and realize your worth. My parents raised me better than to be that douche that takes advantage of you. So, nice meeting you and all, but I am gonna go.”
Jordan turned towards the door, when Jocelyn said in a certain tone of voice that made him stop in his tracks.
“Please don’t go, Jordan.”
TO BE CONTINUED
A.N.: Jocelyn Hyde is on loan to me by the amazing The Hyde Family, her story “Of Hydes & Heirs” is some SimLit you should definitely check out click here